Introducing Mrs. Maxine Pulse, purple-haired dame
of Maxine's Hair and Nails (on the Interstate)
to speak to us today against ogling the oranges-
make that orange juice, of the nude dancers
at Reiger's nudie juicebar, source of saccharine sin
in McCook County:

"I've seen men urinating in the parking lot, full of
kiwi and strawberry, high on bannana-legged dancers
letting it all loose to the stink of grape and apple!
I've seen dancers leaving stained in red and licking
fingers dipped in cash and mango-raspberry smoothies!
There's a line between right and wrong, tangerine
and cherry, but nowadays they want to drink knowledge
chilled over ice and served with melons!
We don't want to be known as Sin City, South Dakota!"